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"I HAVE LEARNED"

The horrific events that took place on September 11th have changed our lives as we know them, forever. It seems to take traumatic events to open our eyes to the realities of life and to gain perspective once again. Each of us has learned personal lessons, and all of us have learned lessons as a community and a nation. As time passes, we will continue to hear more stories, gather more information, and we will continue to learn.

I turned 30 on September 11th of this year and as a birthday gift, my husband Chris, took me to New York City. Our flight arrived at La Guardia Airport at 1:30 p.m. on Monday, September 10th. As we began our final approach, the plane banked right following the Hudson River. The view on such a clear September day was incredible! We could see all of Manhattan and its unmistakable skyline. Most remarkable was how close we flew to the World Trade Center. I later stumble on the thought that I was one of the last people to see such a majestic view.

Chris and I had previously made an agenda for the following day. Our plan was to be in the financial district in lower Manhattan at 8:30 a.m. on September 11th. Breakfast, a ferry ride, and a tour of Wall Street were on our list of "things-to-do." Being the parents of three little girls and already in the habit of getting up at the crack of dawn, we neglected to set the alarm. We overslept and awoke at 8:55 a.m.- seven minutes after the first plane hit the World Trade Center.

The feeling of uncertainty was overwhelming. A million things were racing through my mind. Would I make it home to my children? Were more attacks inevitable? Who are these despicable people? How could someone do this to us? How many people made it out? How many are dead? Who are the victims and how will the people that love them cope? How am I going to get out of here?

We felt personally helpless and empowered at the same time. There was nothing we could do to achieve our personal goal of getting home, but we could make a difference in the lives of others by volunteering our time to the emergency care effort. We left our hotel at approximately 1 p.m. and went to the nearest hospital to give blood. Outside there was a nervous energy. Crowds were moving swiftly and in a deliberate manner. Many were trying to find loved ones and others were rushing to offer their assistance to local hospitals and triage centers. Volunteer lines outside of hospitals extended for several blocks and people were pacing the street screaming the location of the closest blood donation centers.

Wednesday, September 12th, we traveled to Ground Zero. The streets were nearly silent that day as we left the hotel. An occasional siren and the sound of weeping from the few that were out were all that we heard. Our walk to lower Manhattan took us past a firehouse about ¾ of a mile north of Ground Zero. What stopped me in my tracks was the fire truck parked out front. It was covered in soot from the rescue effort the night before and layers of rubble lay on the bumper. Passers by had written messages in the soot. "God bless the souls in this truck", "Heroes" and "God bless America" to name a few. An American flag flew proudly from the ladder that remained elevated on the truck. Several firemen were waiting in front of the firehouse, perhaps waiting for their next shift. The look on their faces said more than a million words. They looked devastated, exhausted and anguished. We found out later that that particular company had lost two men the day before. My eyes met with the eyes of one of the fireman and I was overcome with a magnitude of emotions that I had never felt before. Without even knowing it, I found myself hugging him and apologizing for the unexplainable wrong that had happened. He replied by saying, "You have to keep it together and we have to concentrate on getting through the rubble." Amazing to me was the focus and determination in his voice. His words signified a clarity I had not felt since the tragedy. Our job as a community is to begin the healing, rebuild our lives, and focus on the future. Their job is to continue the tedious task of cleaning up New York.

Our trip home was less eventful but remarkable none-the-less. We had tried every way to get out of New York short of swimming to New Jersey. Our last attempt landed us in a rental car facility where we were unable to obtain a vehicle for the trip home. Hearing our frustration, a gentleman (Good Samaritan, Erik) offered us a ride to Chicago. We made it to The Windy City in 13 hours without any problems or delays. Erik and his wife put us up for the night and made us breakfast the next morning. The following day we said an emotional goodbye and were on our way to Denver, our children, and our lives.

My cousin visited our house one week after we returned home. One of the first things she asked me was if I am scared. I am not scared. I am thankful. Thankful, to see my precious little girls again and thankful for the opportunity to witness the pure goodness in people helping people. It was a truly remarkable experience and when I returned home I realized I had been handed the most remarkable gift of time. No longer am I consumed with life's little routines that unknowingly rearranged the priorities in my life. The laundry, dusting, and PTA can wait. I read my kids three books instead of just one and take them to the park and on outings more often. We play hide and seek, make cookies, and sit and talk. I have time to sit with my husband doing absolutely nothing but watch a football game and I appreciate every moment. I know that if my time had come I would have been taken on that fateful day and I know it was the hand of God that delivered us home safely the following Saturday. I have learned many lessons in the last four months and I will continue to learn as I process more of this experience. Right now, I thank God for every new day and I make sure to savor life?s every moment.

Tammy Wergin, Homemaker
Longmont, Coloarado

AND THE WINNER IS...

Well here is the winner of our "Spiritual Dear Abby Title" contest. Our winning title comes to us from Tammy Wergin of Longmont, Colorado. Tammy suggested it be a place were writers find "peace" for their predicaments, so The Peace Place will be the name of our question and answer column. Congratulations Tammy!!!

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Dear Peace Place:
What does a wife do when her husband comes home every evening and hangs his "work hat" at the door. What I mean is, I try to ask my husband questions about his day, but he just does not seem to want to discuss it with me or let me in. Our marriage is good in other ways, but this often leaves me feeling like an outsider. What should I do with my feelings?
?Confused and Hurting

His Point of View

Dear Confused and Hurting:
As a man, I know that often times my days are stressful and many of the day's events are left "undone" when I leave work. So when I get home, I do not revisit them. My wife and I also have a great marriage, this is no reflection on her. I just want to focus on my family and enjoy the evening.

Her Point of View

Dear Confused and Hurting:
The first thing I would suggest is that you talk to your husband, gently, on a relaxed day, such as the weekend or a date night. Ask him why he does this, but do not be aggressive in making him change. Listen to his answer and go from there. But if this is the way he is and the rest of your marriage is satisfying to you, I would drop it. Every spouse has areas they are willing to live with, every marriage has areas that are not completely satisfying. If the marriage is good overall, I would focus on that blessing rather than a small area that I was dissatisfied with.

?Daryl and Kimberlie Zakarian

(To have questions answered by "The Peace Place" send or e:mail them to Holy House Ministries.)

For two career parents, childcare can sometimes eat up 20% of the household income, depending on how much they earn, where they live and what kind of care they've chosen. The central dilemma: How to make this expense more affordable without sacrificing the top-quality care you want for your kids.

Your first line of attack may be available through your own employer. Most large companies and a growing number of smaller firms offer dependent-care spending account programs that in effect allow parents to turn as much as $5000 of their annual child-care expenses into a tax deduction. The potential savings could end up being around $2000 per year.

A small but growing number of companies also offer discounts or vouchers for use with local childcare providers. Your human resources office can tell you if your employer is among them.

If neither you nor your spouse participates in a dependent-care spending plan at work, you may be eligible for a federal tax credit for qualified childcare expenses.

Being a little bit creative with your childcare arrangements can result in big savings too. If possible, spouses could work flexible schedules to eliminate the need for before or after school care. One spouse starts work early and ends early, the other starts late and ends late. Consider the possibility of sharing an in-home caregiver with other families. With two or three sets of parents sharing the same caregiver's salary, you may be able to afford someone terrific for one-half or one-third the cost. And both parents and children make new friends!

PAY YOURSELF FIRST!!!!

If you never have enough money to devote to savings once you've paid your bills, think of yourself first. This way, you won't consider saving money as something you do with the cash remaining after you've covered your expenses each month. Regard the amount that you've decided to save as another bill ? indeed, your most important bill ? and make it the first one you pay each month.

The simplest way to launch a pay-yourself-first program is to enroll in an automatic savings plan through your employers, bank, brokerage or mutual fund company. These plans make saving relatively painless by taking care of the discipline for you. You specify how much you want to set aside every month ($50 is usually the minimum) and that amount if automatically deducted from your paycheck or bank account and put into investments of your choice.

n added benefit: If you're the kind of parent who's in control of family finances, then you're more likely to raise kids who stay on top of their own.

Jack Hawkins, Banker
Scottsdale, Arizona

"TEACHING OUR CHILDREN TO EMBRACE OTHER CULTURES"

In the wake of America's tragedy, I wanted to share something. When I see the news and what is being reported from all across America, it saddens me. Hate crimes in almost every city across our nation.

I am married to a man from Pakistan. I met him here in the states when I was 18 years old. It was love at first sight and we married 3 months later. I lived with him in Pakistan for thirteen years. I had our two children there. We have always been soul mates. One year ago, due to insufficient education for my kids and an ailing father, I convinced him that we needed to move back to America. The children and I have been here since July 2000, and unfortunately, it has taken him much longer than expected to close out the family business and follow. But he will be ready to come over in three weeks. His questions to me are, "Is it safe? Will we be harassed? Have the children been bothered in school?"

As an American, this question shocked me. Is it true that hardly anyone thinks as I-that God created all men equal? Is everyone not the same from inside? What kind of world would it be if we all looked alike?

My own parents have had a hard time simulating information about Pakistan, not understanding how I could live there when they compare it with what they see on the news. It is all that you see, and so much more.

Through all these years my husband and I, united as one, have raised our children to respect all ways of life and all people. Believe it or not, my children have never asked me why mom and dad look different. I truly believe that is because they don't see the difference. What has happened is not to be excused- or forgotten. The people responsible will be prosecuted. But, we must not take our frustration out on people who look different or have different names. We, as Americans, as believers in God, must set the example.

May God Bless America and Her children.
Ronda Amhed, Administrator
La Crescenta, California

HOW TO EMBRACE ANGLOS WITH HISPANICS

How can Anglos and Hispanics better embrace each other? It is very simple- FELLOWSHIP. Part of the Hispanic culture is that we cook for someone. It is very important for Anglos to know that "you must have to eat."

We do not think that FELLOWSHIP makes brothers and sisters less or more spiritual in Jesus. FELLOWSHIP gives you an opportunity that you do not have during the Sunday services. By having fellowship once a month, you have the opportunity to know Hispanic brothers and sisters by name, not by description only. Also by eating together you are telling them that they are not less or under you. Eating together opens the door for worshipping together later.

As a family, if parents do not take time to be together for dinner, there is no communication at all. However, if you come to visit a Hispanic family, most of the time, something will be offered to you to eat or drink - NEVER EVER SAY NO. This will help bring unity between Anglos and Hispanics in the family of Christ.

Yours in Jesus,
Pastor Luis Orellana
Hispanic Pastor, Open Bible Church
Tujunga, California