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Family Faith
"The Art of Reaching Out Through Adoption"
Family life is a blessing. Experiencing parenthood is a treasure to adults; being an offspring is a gift to children. Those of us who enjoy such family dynamics would call this one of our greatest joys. But sadly, there are those adults who cannot conceive children and those children who have no family to raise them.
Sometimes God works to bring the joy of family life in mysterious ways. Julie, from La Canada Furniture in La Canada, has experienced first hand Gods ability to surprise and bless. Many years ago, when her husband Randy and she were unable to conceive, they considered adoption. As I sat at a local restaurant with Julie and spoke with her about her desire to adopt, I was amazed at how unexpectedly God works.
Julie and Randy always thought they would adopt later in life. They planned on having approximately three children of their own and then bless another child with the wonderful act of bringing them into a home through adoption. God chose to do things a bit differently.
When Randy and Julie found out they could not have children, Julie was heartbroken. They went to their pastor. He had them draw up a letter about themselves and their desire to adopt a child. He then sent their letter and photo out across the nation. They had three responses to their letter, none of which panned out. Because individuals were aware of their desire to adopt, a pastor from another city later approached them with a possible child. God opened the door for them to meet the mother and she chose them to adopt her son. Their desire for a child was being fulfilled. Julie even had the insurmountable joy of going to Lamaze classes with the birth mother and being in the delivery room when her son was born!
Does God work really in mysterious ways? You bet! Randy and Julie believed that one day they would do a "wonderful act" for a child through adoption. Instead God decided to do a "wonderful act" for them through a child. Randy and Julie took their baby home the day after he was delivered. God chose to bless their family. They had lovingly reached out taking a child into their hearts, home, and family. Parents and child alike benefited from their act of love.
Sometimes we have to reach out to grasp Gods blessings. We may think we are going through a trial that no one else can understand but God sees it. Romans 8:28 tells us "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him." We often miss Gods blessing because we expect our lives to go a certain way. Gods plan was not to prevent Randy and Julie from becoming parents, but to bless them and a little baby with a transformed life. Even the birth mother was blessed to have a godly couple raise the child she brought into the world.
If you find yourself in a season where you wonder what God is doing, ask him to bless you in an unexpected way. It may take reaching out to him - and others. Randy and Julie have reached out again, to a foster child who they are in the process of adopting. Truly, this family is a radiant piece of art changing the history of a little foster child, raising him and his brother to change the history of those they encounter.
Will you ask God this day how you can reach out and be unexpectedly blessed?
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The Art of Prayer
This month I attended our communitys prayer breakfast at the Crescenta-Canada YMCA. The room was filled with 325 individuals consisting of clergy and families. Ann Martin emceed and John Naber (of the 1976 Olympics fame) was the keynote speaker. My heart was filled with comfort at the fact that people still care about prayer. I surveyed the room, noting families sitting together. At my table a young son sat with his parents. It warmed my heart to see families taking the time to bring their children to such events; to train them in the importance of prayer.
Many of us have heard the old cliché, The family that prays together, stays together. There is more truth in that then we may give credit. I know first hand that prayer changes things. I have tested the power of prayer: praying for individuals and events sometimes for years. I have seen Gods hand move mightily in these instances. Being a woman of faith, I recognize that it is in fact the hand of God that has moved on behalf of my prayers; there is just no way that many coincidences could occur in life!
Prayer is intimacy with God. Prayer helps cultivate the relationship we have with our Maker. Prayer is a direct line to heaven, on which God answers and meets our needs.
I pray daily - several times a day. I pray for my family, my community, other families, my church, our nation. I pray silently and sometimes aloud. I have always prayed, even amidst my rebellious teen years.
Prayer is not a selfish means. Prayer is seeking Gods face and His will. Prayer means that you ask God to change your heart according to His will so that you can follow the desires of your heart. This is a prayer I prayed at the age of twenty - which literally changed my life. You see, God has three answers to prayer: yes, no, and wait. We cannot blindly go to Him asking Him to answer our prayers the way we want Him to. Only He sees the future, only He knows what is best for us. We have to be willing to accept His will, knowing it is sovereign. If not for prayer, my family would not be where it is at. A great family is not attained by perfection, but rather perseverance perseverance through prayer. It is prayer that gets my husband and me through hard times. It is prayer that directs me in how to raise my children. It is prayer that always seems to meet our financial needs right when we need them met. It is the prayers of many, I believe, that has kept our community safe thus far.
So I ask you, how often do you pray? Is it a part of your early morning or bedtime ritual? Do you talk to the Father as you commute? Shower? Do you teach your children the importance of prayer? When circumstances are beyond our control, as they are now in our nation, we need to pray. We need to more than ever.
Take-to Heart Tips TM
Ways to Develop Prayer in Your Life
· Begin each morning in prayer. It can be as quick as 60 seconds.
· End each day praying with your children.
· Incorporate prayer into your meal times, telling other family members how you saw God move in your life that day.
· Train your babies and toddlers. Take them outside and show them what God has created. Teach them simple prayers such as: Thank you God for the beautiful flowers and trees.
· Teach your children: Take them on prayer walks through our community praying for the homes and the families. Pray for safety and direction for each street and household.
· Pray for your kids before they go off to school each day.
· Be intimate in prayer with your mate. Set aside daily or weekly prayer time to check in with each other. Confess and bring struggles to prayer.
· Pray for your extended family, friends, and our community.
Prayer changes things. I know this first hand. I believe our nation is coming back to this truth.
Are You a Radiant Piece of Art in Your Family?
What does being a part of a family mean to you? Perhaps you are a husband, wife, parent, or child. Residing as part of a family brings with it a role. Whichever role you hold, God designed you as a work of art, created to fill a special purpose within your unique family unit. Ephesians 2:10 tells us, For we are Gods workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (NIV) So, how can you be a radiant piece of art in your family museum? Here are some tips:
Listening Skills for the Entire Family
Married Couples- Listen to your spouses words
God wants us to have great marriages. This takes tangible steps on our part. Married couples often disregard the requests of their spouse when there is a cranky tone attached. Listening to our mates words and tangibly making the changes our spouse asks can bring harmony to our home!
When we take into account what is being said, and follow through with the suggestions, we enhance our relationship. Getting past a tone (which may be caused by stress, tiredness, or even illness) and listening to the dialogue helps us to realize our spouse has a need we can do something about. Stepping beyond pride and doing what our spouse requests (i.e. not spend so much time on the computer, taking out the trash) can bring change. Most often, filling the need takes only moments of our time and brings great benefit.
We experienced this issue early in our marriage. I was pregnant, had a baby, and worked. One day after I had cooked and cleaned, my husband came home tired, looked at the toaster, and asked if I cleaned it. My initial reaction was that he could clean his own toaster. When I got past his tone and recognized that cleanliness, order, and a clean toaster were important to him, I realized it only took me a few minutes to clean and brought harmony to my marriage. Silly examples ring true in every home! I remember this each time we have a conflict; get past the tone, to the issue, and just do it. It works!
Parents- Listen to your children
Take time to stop and listen to your children. As parents, we often get busy doing tasks and brush our children aside when they want to talk. Taking time to stop, make eye contact, and listen, will build a bond, develop self-esteem, and prevent whining. When our children get older they will not remember that Dad got his report done five minutes earlier, but they will remember that Dad took time for them.
If you have teenagers, make time each day to check in with them. You are more apt to find out if they are having struggles if you establish that relationship. I worked with youth for twelve years. The breakdown in relationships between parents and teens broke my heart. Teens desire a good relationship with their parents. Tip: Rules- Relationship = Rebellion
Teens- Listen to your parents advice
My teen years were spent in rebellion and I suffered the consequences. The one thing I can say is that in most instances my parents were right. I now understand why they said the things they did. Had I listened, I would have saved myself a load of heartache. Remember, your parents have been your age, you have not been theirs. There is wisdom in their words.
Everyone must do their part for a family to work in harmony. We can all be a radiant, artistic addition to our homes and experience unity - it just takes a little listening.
Take Heart Tips
Married couples-
· Listen to your partners words and just do it!
· In most cases fixing the complaint only takes minutes out of your schedule.
Parents-
· Stop a task when your child wants to talk.
· Kneel and make eye contact when they are small.
· Take time each day to check in with your teenager.
· Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Teens
· Listen to your parents advice.
· Remember-they have been your age, you have not been theirs.
Everyone
· God created you to be a work of art and enhance your household!
What does being a part of a family mean to you? Perhaps you are a husband, wife, Lack of interest in listening and an over interest in talking breaks down communication in a marriage and is one of the sources that hinders the fruitfulness of our marriages. Listed below are some tips we have practiced in our home to help bring unity and growth to our marriage. Happy listening!
Listen to each others words-
God wants us to have great marriages. This often takes tangible steps on our part. Married couples often disregard requests their spouse brings because there is a cranky tone attached. But listening to our mates words and tangibly making the changes our spouse asks can bring harmony to our homes.
When we take into account what is being said, and follow through with the suggestions, we enhance our relationship. Getting past a tone (which may be do to stress, tiredness, or even sickness) and listening to the dialogue helps us to realize our spouse has a need we can do something about. Stepping beyond our pride and doing what our spouse requests (i.e. not spend so much time on the computer, taking out the trash) can bring change. Most often, filling the need takes only moments of our time and brings more benefit later.
We experienced this early in our marriage. I was pregnant, had a baby and worked. One day after I cleaned our home, my husband came home tired, looked at the toaster, and asked if I cleaned it. My initial reaction was that he could clean his own toaster. When I got past his tone and recognized that cleanliness, order (and a clean toaster) were important to him, I realized it only took me a few minutes to do and it brought harmony to my home. Silly examples ring true in every home! I remember this each time we have a conflict- get past the tone, to the issue, and just do it. It works!
Practice listening to your children-
Dissatisfied children add to the stress of our marriage. Take time to stop and listen to your children. As parents, we often get busy doing tasks and brush our children aside when they want to talk. Taking the time to stop, make eye contact, and listen, will build a bond and develop self esteem. When our children get older they will not remember that Dad got his report done five minutes earlier, but they will remember that Dad took time for them. And they grow so fast!
Check in with Your Teens-
Rebellion in our teenagers is a joy zapper in any marriage. Make time each day to check in with your teenagers. You are more apt to find out if they are having struggles if you establish that relationship. I worked with youth for twelve years. The breakdown in relationships between parents and teens broke my heart. It also caused tremendous stress on the parents marriage. Teens need relationship with their parents. Tip: Rules- Relationship = Rebellion
Take Heart Tips
· Listen to your partners words and just do it!
· In most cases fixing the complaint only takes minutes out of your schedule.
· Stop a task when your child wants to talk.
· Kneel and make eye contact when they are small.
· Take time each day with your teenager to check in.
· Rules-Relationship = Rebellion
Are You Framed in Humility?
Our family recently visited a large church in our area. As we entered the foyer we received name tags to write our first name upon. A nice touch, I thought. When we were seated, I perused the bulletin, noticing that the senior pastors name was not printed on it. Having visited and spoken at many churches, and usually seeing the pastors name on the bulletin, this caught my attention. Knowing this pastors family, I immediately recognized him as he took the pulpit. I also noticed his name tag read Mark, not Pastor Mark. While I believe pastors are worthy of the respect the title brings, this ministered to me. This man was not into his title. This pastor practiced humility. I believe this is one of the reasons God has blessed his church.
I believe humility and service go hand in hand. Humility is an attitude. Our ultimate model of a humble servant comes from Jesus Christ: Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness (Philippians 2:5-7; New International Version). When humility and service are practiced in our homes, they bring tremendous blessing. Whichever role we hold: father, mother, spouse, parent, child, brother or sister, framing our role in humility enhances the dynamics of our families.
Case in point, when I have a humble servants heart it affects how my husband relates to me. When I take the time to meet my childrens needs with love, gentleness, and humility, they behave better promoting peace in our family. This brings blessing.
Life is full of opportunities to be self centered and do what feels best for us as individuals. This was never Jesus model. When He was crucified, He did what was best for us. As we look to His example, it helps us to understand, grasp, and practice humility and service in our relationships.
The pastor of the church we visited showed me something: He was framed with humility. He practiced service unto others. As he preached on Gratitude I saw that God had done a work in this mans life - He was humble and grateful; traits all of us can use more of. As my husband and I listened to his sermon, we agreed that our family would benefit from a bit more humility and gratitude on our part.
How crucial is humility in your life? Picture a unique piece of art. Maybe it is the Mona Lisa or perhaps a Monet. Now visualize it without a frame. It may still be awe inspiring, but the completeness of its beauty is not captured. So are our roles as family members. Perhaps we are great dads, moms, or children. But without the framework of humility our full-fledged beauty escapes the notice of those around us.
I encourage each of us to begin practicing humility, service, and gratitude in our family. It may not be easy when we are tired, stressed, or angry; emotions that are part of life. God knows we struggle with such feelings. This is why Jesus left His comfort zone - to help and serve us. Lets capture His humility and try to make it ours. Lets practice His model of serving as we relate to our families. Lets be grateful for what God has given us. Who knows, we may change the history of our family.
Take Heart Tips TM"
· God blesses us in our humility.
· Humility and service go hand in hand.
· Our ultimate model of a humble servant comes from Jesus Christ.
· Whichever role we hold: father, mother, spouse, parent, child, brother or sister, framing our role in humility enhances the dynamics of our families.
· Life is full of opportunities to be self centered and do what feels best for us as individuals. This was never Jesus model.
· Without the framework of humility added to our roles, our full-fledged beauty escapes the notice of those around us.
· Lets capture Jesus humility and try to make it ours.
· Lets practice Jesus model of serving as we relate to our families.
· Lets be grateful for what God has given us.
Is There an Art to Fatherhood?
Fatherhood. The Websters dictionary sites the first definition as a man who has engendered a child esp., a man as related to his child or children. When I think of fatherhood, I think of the man in a childs life who raises and nurtures. I think of all the joy, shaping, and even pain that father can bring. What an awe inspiring task! Fatherhood is a role that was designed to be a blessing, a training ground to raise up the next generation.
I have encountered many great fathers in my life. I look at these men with respect; they are leaders, likened unto God. When fatherhood is grasped with reverence and obedience to our Lord, it is a mighty role - able to bless those directly involved as well as the outsider looking in.
As my husband and I raise our daughters, I am proud and impressed at the father he has become. There is no doubt that nothing on this earth means more to him than those two little girls. He is smitten; yet he cares enough to discipline when the need arises. This is true love. This is true fatherhood.
Fatherhood requires disciplining when you would rather let the cute little creature just get away with it. It necessitates the renouncing of laziness. It demands that you provide a home and food. It shouts of love, playtime, hugs, and prayers. Fatherhood is a completely selfless profession, one that urges you give up your desires for the betterment of your childrens lives.
So, is there an art to fatherhood? I would have to give a resounding, Yes. A father has the ability to form and mold the character and moral ethics of his child and has been given the God ordained task of caring, providing, teaching, and loving his children. The art of fatherhood can be learned from the One listed in Websters fifth entry: God, or God as the first person in the Trinity. Father Gods example is not just for men who are seeking an art or pattern of love to emulate; it is for the ones who have been hurt by their earthly father, a mere man.
Gods model can bring healing and direct the future generation away from repeated mistakes. There are two chances to have a good father-child relationship: one with your earthly father and another with your offspring. Only the heavenly Father could be creative enough to provide the grace of second chances! This is an art all can grasp. Matthew 6:26 tells us: Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? (New International Version) God intricately cares about the lives of children and fathers. He desires to teach men the art of fatherhood by having them mimic His love.
Is the art of fatherhood easy? No way. But my husband would attest with me that it is one of the most joyous jobs on earth (along with being a mommy). It is never too late to start being a better father. A childs love is forgiving and pure and they need their Daddy.
God Bless You to all fathers out there and Happy Fathers Day. May the Lord continue to guide you in the art of fatherhood, teaching you care for your offspring as He cares for His. Your children are counting on it.
Take Heart Tips TM
· Fatherhood is a role that was designed to be a blessing, a training ground to raise up the next generation.
· Fatherhood is able to bless those directly involved as well as the outsider looking in.
· A father has the ability to form and mold the character and moral ethics of his child.
· Gods example is not just for men who are seeking an art or pattern of love to emulate; it is for the ones who have been hurt by their earthly father.
· There are two chances to have a good father-child relationship: one with your earthly father and another with your offspring.
· God desires to teach men the art of fatherhood by having them mimic His love.
· It is never too late to start being a better father.
· A childs love is forgiving and pure and they need their Daddy.
The Rev. Kimberlie Zakarian is a Glendale resident. She is the founder and president of, Holy House Ministries, a family ministry dedicated to Bringing Complete Unity to Households. She is a speaker and author of family issues. Her column, Family Faith, runs alternating Fridays. Contact her by e-mail at HolyHouse9@aol.com; or by mail at Holy House Ministries c/o the Rev. Kimberlie Zakarian, 9641 Tujunga Canyon Blvd., Tujunga, CA 91042.
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